Fed Up? Frustrated? Annoyed? Bitter? Irritated? Down In The Dumps? Someone Else The Cause Of Your Troubles?

Call it what you will.  We’ve all been there. 
Let’s go over it in more detail.

What’s the Background?

  • Someone has done or said something that we don’t agree with.
  • Someone hasn’t lived up to our expectations.
  • Someone has stepped over our boundaries.
  • Someone has offended us.
  • Someone has asked too much of us.

What’s the Actual Situation?

  • Your boss has made a unilateral decision without consulting you.
  • Your management have made ridiculous, poor, or irrational decisions.
  • Your supervisor is playing “favourites” with specific staff.
  • Your spouse is playing games with you.
  • Your manager is pushy, dominating or sarcastic.
  • You have been blamed for something you didn’t do.
  • Your family are difficult to get on with.
  • Your friend has said something you didn’t like.

What do you say to yourself?

  • “It’s not fair.”
  • “How dare he/she!”
  • “It’s so unjust”
  • “Who do they think they are!”
  • “I’ll show them!”
  • “How could they?”
  • “It’s so unnecessary.”
  • “What’s the matter with them?”
  • “They’re so insensitive.”
  • “Why me?”
  • “This is ridiculous”

What’s our Reaction?

Here’s how it is.

We make up rules inside our heads about how people should react and behave towards us and others.  When they “break” those rules, we get upset (or annoyed, resentful, frustrated, angry etc).  We play it cool and are aloof; we sulk, we try to give the other person(s) a hard-time.

But really, in a nutshell, feeling resentful or badly towards others for breaking our rules is ridiculous.  Somehow or other, we believe that we can punish others by refusing to forgive them.  “If I don’t forgive you, you suffer.”

Know what?  Actually, its us that suffers.  We’re the ones who feel tense, its our stomach that churns, we’re the ones who lose sleep, we’re the ones who feel fatigued, we’re the ones who get headaches, we’re the ones who feel miserable.

What’s the Answer?

This is not a cop-out, but the answer is within you.

Don’t punish yourself, by trying to punish someone else.  It’s futile.  It’s senseless.

Give up trying to make others feel badly.  Take charge of yourself by stopping your negative thoughts and turn them around –

  • In the total scheme of life, does it really matter?
  • Are you going to remember this incident in a week or two, a month or two?
  • Are you going to remember this incident in twelve months time?
  • Is it really a big deal?
  • Is it really going to make front page of the local newspaper?
  • Is it really worth it?
  • Are you going to allow them to continue to make you feel miserable?
  • Are you going to allow them to continue to rob you of your peace?

What’s the price of you continuing to be fed up?  It’s simply not worth it!